though internet porn isn't popularly accepted as generally causing harm to anyone (arguably there are some who benefit, and some who are taken advantage of ---but that's beyond the scope of this blog), i've decided to take an adventurous trip down the road of self-restraint as a personal exercise in self-awareness and growth: no more p0rn will be my mantra.

i've come to the gross realization that it devastates my long-term, committed relationship. That's not to say that it harms any and every relationship, but it does harm mine. It makes my girlfriend feel like shit and wastes countless hours of my time.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Depression and Erectile Issues (DoF=3)

If Friday was my first day not looking at any porn, that means that today is my 3rd. I'd celebrate, except for the fact that this weekend was the first time in my life that I couldn't seem to get it up all the way for no apparent reason.

I'm really tempted to look at some mind-blowing, HQ streaming, anything-I-want porn to see if it'll get me up all the way, but I feel like that's a bad idea. Plus, I'm on day 3, why break the streak?

It's pretty depressing (not gonna lie) first quitting porn and then not being able to get it up. I haven't seen my gf for a couple of weeks (this long-distance thing is starting to wear on me) and I hope this isn't anything physical in nature because when I see her next weekend I'd like to be able to have the *fun* that we always do.

Maybe I'm just (1) stressed, (2) tired, and (3) emotionally effected in such a way that the sum of everything is keeping me from getting it right. And by "right" I mean vein-pumping, head throbbing, wet-towel-holding hardness. Stressed because of work. Tired because of work. And emotionally effected because of all this that's going on, and other personal stuff.

Anyways, I don't see porn being a problem if I can't get it up all the way and sustain it for a reasonable amount of time. That's just depressing. WTF is wrong with me!? I'm in my mid 20's and this is the first time ever I've had an issue. Usually I'm standing at attention way before the race bell rings and can generally control whether I'm going to sprint or run a marathon with no problem.

But before I either sprint or run a marathon I gotta be able to stand up "right". God, I hope this just magically goes away by itself in the next couple of days.
Posted by no more p0rn at 9:06 AM

1 comment:

  1. SnippetFebruary 8, 2010 at 10:31 PM

    Without pornography, its really tough at first to get fully aroused. Our imagination isn't as powerful as the internet.

    If you're like me, you're going to find yourself checking out girls on the street more often and then feeling frustrated that you can't take out your desires on women online (where it isn't technically cheating on your girlfriend).

    ReplyDelete

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